Learning from your answers

Having a baby is a permanent life change and cannot really be imagined in advance. Most of us anticipate happiness and pleasure, but are less prepared for the inevitable loneliness, times of boredom and sense of being unskilled. We usually expect that other people will help more than they actually do and that it will be quite straightforward. It can be helpful to think back to how we imagined it would be and then to think about how it actually is. The differences and disappointments give us hints about what to do. For example, if you feel lonelier than you had imagined, then it is time to build some new friendships with other families with new babies. You may also realise that some of your expectations come from your experience in your family of origin. This is important to recognise and discuss with your partner.