What were we thinking! promote confidence and reduce distress in parents with a first baby


By Kate


Today was a bit of a disaster. I had arranged for someone to come clean the house (actually a tiny 2 bed apartment but you’d be amazed how dirty it can get) because I just hadn’t got around to doing it myself in the three months since L was born. But first I needed to do some major tidying, so that the cleaner could actually reach the floors, etc.

Well, needless to say, L was not on board. He was super-demanding all morning, so I could barely put him down for a minute. I had booked the cleaner for mid-morning, so when I finally got L to sleep I had to rush into the shower and grab some breakfast—another mistake! The cleaner arrived and the place was still a mess. She also just didn’t seem to get how hard it was with a baby; I felt like she was judging me; but she also kept asking me to fetch her different cleaning products, when she could see that I was occupied with L … and to top it off, she charged way more than we had agreed, so there was an awkward moment when I tried to bargain her down, once she had already arrived! Ultimately, she cleaned the bathroom, and we ended up doing to floors together, since L finally went to sleep.

I ended up having a very stressful day (and felt stupid for having spent so much money) (and then felt more stupid for being stressed by simple tasks of daily living). After a cuddle and a sleep with L, and a cup of tea, I decided that I had been too ambitious. We are actually doing really well, we have a happy and healthy baby—but when I try to do too much, I just get stressed and feel crap. The super-mum pressure is definitely out there, but try to resist it.


WWWT Team - The unpaid workload in a household increases four- to six-fold after the birth of the baby. Caring for a baby is time-consuming and when household tasks become difficult to complete is can cause feelings of stress. Discussion about the division of household taks are important to have as a couple.

Posted in:  Baby 13-16 weeks