Taking a relaxed approach OR in control and getting my baby to sleep through? Being relaxed and going with the flow OR knuckling down and eliminating these unnecessary night feeds?...">
What were we thinking! promote confidence and reduce distress in parents with a first baby

Feeding through the night.

By Morgan

Feeding through the night.

AM I...


Taking a relaxed approach OR in control and getting my baby to sleep through?


Being relaxed and going with the flow OR knuckling down and eliminating these unnecessary night feeds?


Waiting until he is six months OR stopping the night feeds, he’s doubled his weight?


Following the “most sold Australian baby book” and waiting until he is six months before worrying about sleeping through OR following the tough love routine of the well regarded sleep school?


Feeling comfortable and following my instinct OR feeling so tired today that I can’t take this anymore?

Feeling optimistic, he was only up once last night OR feeling exhausted, flat, like I don’t know what I’m doing, he was up every two and half hours last night?


This is my hard place. It has been for the past month. Maybe four nights a week my darling boy is a bit of trick or super hungry.

Four month sleep regression?



Introduction of food?


Growth spurt?


Idiot mother?


All of the above?

I know nobody can answer this.

I have sought advice on my troubling topic from three mothers I respect lately.


Mother 1: “I stopped feeding at three and a half months, my Mum thought it was a bad habit and I needed the sleep”.


Mother 2: “Angus slept through from 8 weeks but I would be careful with these night feeds, they don’t actually need any food”.

Mother 3: “Just relax and keep going the way you are. It will slowly improve and if it doesn’t, think about a change after he is six months and eating a bit more. If you have a bad night it’s not like you have to function at work the next day, you just get used to it. Nothings ever perfect”.

I suppose you take the advice that sits best with you.
And hey! If this is my hard place right now, I’m an extremely lucky Mum.

Expert response from What Were We Thinking! expert, Sue Doogan

Morgan, I love the way you think AND write! You manage to put clearly and succinctly into words what countless parents are agonising over. With one exception: “idiot mother”, stop that right now! You are not! (That’s me with my bossy MCHN hat on!)

You are becoming the expert with YOUR baby. Babies and adults are different; no two are the same so there is no real one size fits all. However, by reviewing the WWWT evidence – (Understanding Babies Crying, Each Baby is Different, Feed - Play – Sleep) it might help you to see the big picture and come to a solution or find some peace of mind. Just as your confidence is ever increasing, there are times when you may start to doubt yourself. This means it is time to go back to the evidence!

If you maintain consistency then both you and your baby will be in a great rhythm. Even if that’s a rhythm that other parents would or wouldn't accept, it doesn't matter what they say, this is YOUR baby.

Whether it’s option A or Option B all your points are valid, Morgan. All your possible reasons are equally as valid – growth spurts, teething, etc. At the end of the day though, in your words Morgan, “take the advice that sits well with you”.

Posted in:  Baby 13-16 weeks  Crying settling sleeping  Every baby is different  Growth and development