What were we thinking! promote confidence and reduce distress in parents with a first baby

I don't have to be a supermum

By Poppy

I don't have to be a supermum

Becoming a parent has confirmed for us that feeling daunted and overwhelmed had rhyme and reason. Early in the piece there were days and weeks where I felt in control, organised and managing this new little wriggly worm reasonably well. Just like that, these feelings of confirmation could vanish after a very long night or sporadic episodes of fussy feeding. Was I really managing well? Was I really enjoying it? Mostly yes, sometimes no. The lack of sleep sent me spinning, left me frustrated and ready to vent to poor family and my long suffering husband. On reflection I could never have imagined life with such interruption.


The days were ok, the nights were sometimes hard, and often left me anxious as evening approached and the unknown lay ahead. Every day is a new day I would tell myself, tomorrow will be better. Some days in the early weeks I didn’t believe this, but as the weeks went by and we hit 8 weeks I started to see glimpses of our Penelope becoming a superstar sleeper and a feeder who never fussed. Then bang, just like that we would regress. We’d be up and down like mad people in the night, and when my little angel cracked it, it was like my milk just shut up shop.


Yet with the benefit of hindsight, every week see’s improvements, however gradual, it is improvement- 10 minutes more of sleep a night is winning if you ask me. If the fussing starts I just get out an expressed bottle. I don’t have to be super mum, I just have to be mum. Every day is a new day, and every morning it’s a new sunrise which gives us reason to get up, get out, get walking and take stock of how lucky we are to be receiving those increasing smiles. It’s all going so quickly, and some days slowly too. What we have learnt is that having expectations is great and can be really helpful, but letting go of some of these expectations and just taking each day as it comes is ok too.

Posted in:  Baby 0-4 weeks